i’ve heard there is a publication of the bible which contains all of the stories which had been in the bible but had been removed including one in which jesus zaps children with lightning from his fingertip because they were stoning birds. Has anyone heard of or read this?
No idea about that, Dyl, but the New Testament features only four of the ten or so known gospels (and there were probably many more), so quite a bit is ‘missed out’ in that respect. Thomas, Peter and even Judas all had their own gospels that ended up on the cutting room floor, so to speak, presumably because someone or other decided they weren’t holy enough.
Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, ‘gospel truth’…
By ‘someone or other’, I mean Irenaeus, obviously. Now *there’s* an interesting chap that no-one’s ever heard of. The editor of the New Testament, no less… I guess it was him that took out the zapping-children-with-lightening stories… 🙂
It’s funny that people now are so used to “the bible” that it doesn’t occur to them that when the various texts were written they were individual books unto themselves – kinda like trying to explain to a teenager about tv in the days of no remote control and just the 3 networks and having to watch something when it was on
I like the paper that Jesus is reading. The religion of “Global Warming” is the latest trying to convert everyone, and killing their reputations for not beleiving. I just read an article talking about how much CO2, etc. that Christmas puts out.
dyl: can’t answer your question but here’s an interesting version of the bible, which starts off…
1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
And lo it shall come to pass that the sea shall rise by an unspecified but scary enough amount, and noxious emissions and vapours shall increase upon the earth.
And the John Moores of the earth shall ensure that nothing is done about it except demand better evidence that global warming is caused by humankind.
Better evidence than hard data from multiple sources, global glacial meltdown, record temperatures etc etc.
And as the last polar bear sinks into the ever-warming polar seas the disbelievers shall continue to whinge and moan that anything at all should be done about it which might in any way affect their comfortable first world living standard.
Climate change religion my foot! Climate change skeptics remind me of neo-creationists scrambling to counter the growing evidence for evolution theory.
Evidently, militant Islam wasn’t the first time a death-obsessed middle eastern cult decided it was diametrically opposed to everything good about western civ.
According to “The Closing of the Western Mind”, Paul’s pwning in Athens explains a lot about Xtianity’s subsequent violent antipathy to reason and science. He was a very thin-skinned individual.
Bart Ehrman, The Lost Gospels. And if I remember correctly, Jesus was making puddles and playing with them and the other kids messed it up. Essentially, he killed some kids for knocking over his sandcastle. But he magicked the poor bastards back to life a couple weeks later, so it’s all good… I guess.
Ok folks I will not get into the arguements about global climate change. Here in the US our great and wide EPA has declared that CO2 is a pollutant which should be regulated. Now considering the fact that LIFE itself would not be possible with out this NATURALLY occuring gas. It does seem a bit anti-intelligent. I would have hoped that this site is proof that there is always more than one side to a multi-TRILLION dollar situation. I can also produce scientific based sites that refute every single one of those listed in your links. When the Pro-global warming groups stands up and says unequivicably that there is not more arguement it would seem that is when we need the arguement more than ever.
John Moore: you’ve adduced an argument which almost nobody who knows the first thing about climate science takes seriously. If you believe this, you have been lied to.
But back to J&M. It looks as though the boys’ removal of their jimjams has warmed up more than one J&Mer’s world.
oh, and Mr Moore – how would you like to sit for half an hour in a room filled entirely with naturally occurring Carbon Dioxide? Perhaps you could simultaneously eat a sandwich filled with naturally occurring Deadly Nightshade?
@John Moore:
I just wish some of the media reporters would learn the difference between carbon monoxide (CO=major atmospheric pollutant) and carbon diocide (CO2=used by plants during photosynthesis to make sugars).
sigh.
Cheap solution to CO2: Just plant more trees! (and maybe leave the rain forests alone)
“Ok folks I will not get into the arguements about global climate change.”
Then he does.
“Here in the US our great and wide EPA has declared that CO2 is a pollutant which should be regulated. Now considering the fact that LIFE itself would not be possible with out this NATURALLY occuring gas. It does seem a bit anti-intelligent.”
This isn’t even wrong. It doesn’t make enough sense to qualify as wrong.
“I would have hoped that this site is proof that there is always more than one side to a multi-TRILLION dollar situation. I can also produce scientific based sites that refute every single one of those listed in your links.”
Conspiracy? Alternative science? Where have I heard that before? Oh yes – http://www.answersingenesis.org
“When the Pro-global warming groups stands up and says unequivicably that there is not more arguement it would seem that is when we need the arguement more than ever.”
Scientists agree on things. This is not the same as hiding facts or making bald assertions. If he really makes this bizarre association no wonder he sees conspiracies everywhere.
“oh, and Mr Moore – how would you like to sit for half an hour in a room filled entirely with naturally occurring Carbon Dioxide? Perhaps you could simultaneously eat a sandwich filled with naturally occurring Deadly Nightshade?”
Sir, let the people with G.E.D.s decide about climate change, we don’t need these bastards with PhD and scientific research for our data. Learn to think with the gut. Besides, if CO2 and CO are not the same, why do they look so similar? Obviously CO2 is just twice the amount of CO. TAKE THAT, SCIENCE.
It is so funny that, reading the New Testament a multitude of times, I never understood who the Epicureans and Stoics were. Now it seems so obvious and laughable. I totally understand where they were coming from. LOL
Could this have been the origination point of so many of those
“pull my finger” jokes? One of my uncles put the fear of god into our whole generation of cousins. Or at least it smelled like that.
it’s funny to me we don’t seem to be leaving this era of anything “natural” is good (ie: vitamins and herbs better than medicine) , anything thought of or “discovered” by an amateur is superior to or at least on par with a trained and educated expert.
no wonder education is backsliding and religion is becoming more extreme, it validates that nonsense
BTW, concerning the war on Christmas, here’s another salvo: if the magi followed a “star in the east,” wouldn’t they have had to circumvent the earth, since Jerusalem was west of Persia?
Looks to me like they beat Magellan by a long shot!
Just because the Greeks were philosophers and not christians, does not mean that they were atheists. (no matter how much we wish they were) They might have asked how he knew what he proclaimed, but they probably continued by proclaiming the existance of the Olympian gods…
OK Sorry about the last post I will never bring that issue up again. Now here is an article about removing a guy from an elected office for being an atheist.
Well, Tim, most, but not all, Epicureans were practical atheists. However, Stoics believe not exactly in the Olympian gods but in some sort of Prime Motor or Great Spirit. They laugh at Paul not for believing in God, but for believing in resurrection. God can be a philosophical statement, but resurrection is harder to swallow in.
@John Moore
Don’t be badgered by your fellow Atheists into apologizing for yelling the truth about “Global Warming”. AGW/CC is the biggest hoax/scientific fraud of all time. Theoretically, increased CO2 should amount for some miniscule warming, but the Climate ‘Scientists’ can’t find any evidence (oh, what a travesty!) so they fiddle the figures to ‘Hide The Decline’, and create a graph to convince an unsuspecting public that AGW is ‘real’. Liars For Gaia!
Damn, climate change denialists do get around, don’t they? Anyway, I think the Infancy Gospel of Thomas is the one that has Jesus killing and cursing kids, making clay birds come to life, etc. You should be able to find that easily enough (if I’m correct on that, haven’t dug out my books to see if it’s correct).
Crusader Rabid,
You’re the liar here. The “hide the decline comment” was made in 1997, when even halfwit denialists don’t pretend there was a decline in global temperatures, as they do about the subsequent decade (there isn’t, of course). It referred to a single proxy (tree rings in a relatively small area), known to work well over the past because it correlates with other ways of measuring temperature, but not working recently – possibly because of other forms of air pollution, but no-one yet knows. What had been done to “hide the decline” was stated openly. Grow up.
Regarding lost gospels and child jesus smiting with lightning, I highly recommend Christopher Moore’s ‘Lamb’. It’s his >highly< entertaining story of JC’s years between the points given in the bible. I don’t think that ANYONE would deny that laughter is good & fun & we need more ( Moore? ) of it.
Jesus & Mo (the characters) are absurd, blinkered, and oddly very sweet. J&M (the cartoon) is brilliant: sharp, delicious, irresistible. Salman Rushdie
Jesus and Mo cartoons are wonderfully funny and true. Richard Dawkins
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In a world defined by outrage and offence and liberal spinelessness, Jesus and Mo is a treasure, whose value we should never fail to recognize. Read them. Laugh. And think. Kenan Malik
The brilliant, celebrated, freaking hilarious atheist comic strip ... Greta Christina
...rays of sanity in a befuddled world. Keri Hulme
The liveliest depictions of Muhammad currently available... Malise Ruthven
J & Mo is the funniest and most consistently thought-provoking cartoon strip on the Net. In a saner world, it would run in a major newspaper. Nelson Jones, Heresy Corner
Consistently amusing, frequently thought-provoking and often heart-warming. New Humanist
Jesus & Mo is one of the most wonderful things on the internet.. JT Eberhard
Wittily captures much of the absurdity of religious apologetics. Mano Singham
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Often hilarious, frequently wry, these cartoons do what all the best cartoons do: they tell the truth through humour. Terry Sanderson, NSS President
...a wonderfully acid British cartoonist... Nick Cohen
I love the scrappy mockery of Jesus and Mo. Freedom of speech
includes the freedom to mock any person, any thing, any activity, and
any belief -- and J&M stands up for this unflinchingly Richard Stallman
...empowering, important and deeply progressive, not to mention hilarious... Council of Ex-Muslims
January 8, 2010
Oh, those ancient new atheists! Always there to demand proof and evidence!
i’ve heard there is a publication of the bible which contains all of the stories which had been in the bible but had been removed including one in which jesus zaps children with lightning from his fingertip because they were stoning birds. Has anyone heard of or read this?
all this proof and such is quite the nuisance.
No idea about that, Dyl, but the New Testament features only four of the ten or so known gospels (and there were probably many more), so quite a bit is ‘missed out’ in that respect. Thomas, Peter and even Judas all had their own gospels that ended up on the cutting room floor, so to speak, presumably because someone or other decided they weren’t holy enough.
Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, ‘gospel truth’…
This is my favorite one in a while! Haha – I love it!
By ‘someone or other’, I mean Irenaeus, obviously. Now *there’s* an interesting chap that no-one’s ever heard of. The editor of the New Testament, no less… I guess it was him that took out the zapping-children-with-lightening stories… 🙂
Nice job, Author! Everything old is new again. Mocking Christianity for 2000 years and counting.
It’s funny that people now are so used to “the bible” that it doesn’t occur to them that when the various texts were written they were individual books unto themselves – kinda like trying to explain to a teenager about tv in the days of no remote control and just the 3 networks and having to watch something when it was on
And some said, What will this babbler say?
Those Greek philosophers were probably used to itinerant demagogues of the Saul of Tarsus variety.
I like the paper that Jesus is reading. The religion of “Global Warming” is the latest trying to convert everyone, and killing their reputations for not beleiving. I just read an article talking about how much CO2, etc. that Christmas puts out.
dyl: can’t answer your question but here’s an interesting version of the bible, which starts off…
1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
http://www.lolcatbible.com/
Young people today, eh? Tsk, tsk.
I like Mo’s chesthair…. *woot!*
@John Moore: heretic! blasphemer!
And lo it shall come to pass that the sea shall rise by an unspecified but scary enough amount, and noxious emissions and vapours shall increase upon the earth.
And the John Moores of the earth shall ensure that nothing is done about it except demand better evidence that global warming is caused by humankind.
Better evidence than hard data from multiple sources, global glacial meltdown, record temperatures etc etc.
And as the last polar bear sinks into the ever-warming polar seas the disbelievers shall continue to whinge and moan that anything at all should be done about it which might in any way affect their comfortable first world living standard.
Climate change religion my foot! Climate change skeptics remind me of neo-creationists scrambling to counter the growing evidence for evolution theory.
Evidently, militant Islam wasn’t the first time a death-obsessed middle eastern cult decided it was diametrically opposed to everything good about western civ.
According to “The Closing of the Western Mind”, Paul’s pwning in Athens explains a lot about Xtianity’s subsequent violent antipathy to reason and science. He was a very thin-skinned individual.
Bart Ehrman, The Lost Gospels. And if I remember correctly, Jesus was making puddles and playing with them and the other kids messed it up. Essentially, he killed some kids for knocking over his sandcastle. But he magicked the poor bastards back to life a couple weeks later, so it’s all good… I guess.
@John Moore:
Read http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8376286.stm
The boys without pyjamas ……hot, hot, hot.
Ok folks I will not get into the arguements about global climate change. Here in the US our great and wide EPA has declared that CO2 is a pollutant which should be regulated. Now considering the fact that LIFE itself would not be possible with out this NATURALLY occuring gas. It does seem a bit anti-intelligent. I would have hoped that this site is proof that there is always more than one side to a multi-TRILLION dollar situation. I can also produce scientific based sites that refute every single one of those listed in your links. When the Pro-global warming groups stands up and says unequivicably that there is not more arguement it would seem that is when we need the arguement more than ever.
John Moore: you’ve adduced an argument which almost nobody who knows the first thing about climate science takes seriously. If you believe this, you have been lied to.
But back to J&M. It looks as though the boys’ removal of their jimjams has warmed up more than one J&Mer’s world.
Nice cartoon Author.
oh, and Mr Moore – how would you like to sit for half an hour in a room filled entirely with naturally occurring Carbon Dioxide? Perhaps you could simultaneously eat a sandwich filled with naturally occurring Deadly Nightshade?
@John Moore:
I just wish some of the media reporters would learn the difference between carbon monoxide (CO=major atmospheric pollutant) and carbon diocide (CO2=used by plants during photosynthesis to make sugars).
sigh.
Cheap solution to CO2: Just plant more trees! (and maybe leave the rain forests alone)
“Ok folks I will not get into the arguements about global climate change.”
Then he does.
“Here in the US our great and wide EPA has declared that CO2 is a pollutant which should be regulated. Now considering the fact that LIFE itself would not be possible with out this NATURALLY occuring gas. It does seem a bit anti-intelligent.”
This isn’t even wrong. It doesn’t make enough sense to qualify as wrong.
“I would have hoped that this site is proof that there is always more than one side to a multi-TRILLION dollar situation. I can also produce scientific based sites that refute every single one of those listed in your links.”
Conspiracy? Alternative science? Where have I heard that before? Oh yes – http://www.answersingenesis.org
“When the Pro-global warming groups stands up and says unequivicably that there is not more arguement it would seem that is when we need the arguement more than ever.”
Scientists agree on things. This is not the same as hiding facts or making bald assertions. If he really makes this bizarre association no wonder he sees conspiracies everywhere.
In summary: troll.
“oh, and Mr Moore – how would you like to sit for half an hour in a room filled entirely with naturally occurring Carbon Dioxide? Perhaps you could simultaneously eat a sandwich filled with naturally occurring Deadly Nightshade?”
Sir, let the people with G.E.D.s decide about climate change, we don’t need these bastards with PhD and scientific research for our data. Learn to think with the gut. Besides, if CO2 and CO are not the same, why do they look so similar? Obviously CO2 is just twice the amount of CO. TAKE THAT, SCIENCE.
It is so funny that, reading the New Testament a multitude of times, I never understood who the Epicureans and Stoics were. Now it seems so obvious and laughable. I totally understand where they were coming from. LOL
“….zapping-children-with-lightening stories…”?
Could this have been the origination point of so many of those
“pull my finger” jokes? One of my uncles put the fear of god into our whole generation of cousins. Or at least it smelled like that.
[…] (via) « Uganda & Gays Share […]
it’s funny to me we don’t seem to be leaving this era of anything “natural” is good (ie: vitamins and herbs better than medicine) , anything thought of or “discovered” by an amateur is superior to or at least on par with a trained and educated expert.
no wonder education is backsliding and religion is becoming more extreme, it validates that nonsense
[…] (via) […]
Yeah drat those pesky new atheists.
“The boys without pyjamas ……hot, hot, hot.”
You obviously didn’t notice Mo’s arms! Ewwwwwwwww
“Cheap solution to CO2: Just plant more trees! (and maybe leave the rain forests alone)”
…and what happens when the trees die? They rot and release the CO2 back into the atmosphere.
Maybe instead of leaving all these forests all over the place, we should be cutting them down and tying their carbon up into things like books.
BTW, concerning the war on Christmas, here’s another salvo: if the magi followed a “star in the east,” wouldn’t they have had to circumvent the earth, since Jerusalem was west of Persia?
Looks to me like they beat Magellan by a long shot!
Just because the Greeks were philosophers and not christians, does not mean that they were atheists. (no matter how much we wish they were) They might have asked how he knew what he proclaimed, but they probably continued by proclaiming the existance of the Olympian gods…
OK Sorry about the last post I will never bring that issue up again. Now here is an article about removing a guy from an elected office for being an atheist.
Well, Tim, most, but not all, Epicureans were practical atheists. However, Stoics believe not exactly in the Olympian gods but in some sort of Prime Motor or Great Spirit. They laugh at Paul not for believing in God, but for believing in resurrection. God can be a philosophical statement, but resurrection is harder to swallow in.
@John Moore
Don’t be badgered by your fellow Atheists into apologizing for yelling the truth about “Global Warming”. AGW/CC is the biggest hoax/scientific fraud of all time. Theoretically, increased CO2 should amount for some miniscule warming, but the Climate ‘Scientists’ can’t find any evidence (oh, what a travesty!) so they fiddle the figures to ‘Hide The Decline’, and create a graph to convince an unsuspecting public that AGW is ‘real’. Liars For Gaia!
Damn, climate change denialists do get around, don’t they? Anyway, I think the Infancy Gospel of Thomas is the one that has Jesus killing and cursing kids, making clay birds come to life, etc. You should be able to find that easily enough (if I’m correct on that, haven’t dug out my books to see if it’s correct).
@Crusader Rabid – Thanks for the support if I had a Facebook page I would totally add you to my friends list.
Hi,
I have posted a Lithuanian translation of this strip here:
http://blog.lrytas.lt/ateistas/2009/12/21/jezus-ir-mo-apie-naujuosius-ateistus/
thanks
Crusader Rabid,
You’re the liar here. The “hide the decline comment” was made in 1997, when even halfwit denialists don’t pretend there was a decline in global temperatures, as they do about the subsequent decade (there isn’t, of course). It referred to a single proxy (tree rings in a relatively small area), known to work well over the past because it correlates with other ways of measuring temperature, but not working recently – possibly because of other forms of air pollution, but no-one yet knows. What had been done to “hide the decline” was stated openly. Grow up.
Regarding lost gospels and child jesus smiting with lightning, I highly recommend Christopher Moore’s ‘Lamb’. It’s his >highly< entertaining story of JC’s years between the points given in the bible. I don’t think that ANYONE would deny that laughter is good & fun & we need more ( Moore? ) of it.