wives
April 10th, 2013
So what’s the problem?
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Awesome!
I don’t get what women get from Islam. What do they have to look forward to in heaven? Are they gonna be one of some guys 72 houris? Or are they just going to be his cook when he takes a break from screwing?
Oh, that WAS beautifully put, Author! It can’t be any clearer — and yet obscure to those blind-by-choice — than that.
Houris aren’t women they are like angels on the heavenly staff, there are both male and female houris. I presume that dead female Muslims get to make use of male houris in the same way that dead male Muslims do. Do female suicide bombers get 72 virgin boys?
Beautifully said, Author.
Can’t wait to see how Nassar will
misinterpret this one.So Jesus is white , has lovely brows … And slim!!! (We don’t like him but he is acceptable looking as he is white)
Muhammad is dark, fat, mono-browed… Not acceptable according to Western standards…
Hmmm Ahiests may no lot believe in God but believes in judging people based on white people standards… Athiests believe white people are Gods!!!wow
The liberated western women’s movement’s, alas
Have gotten heavy and wide in the ass
Of their sisters in Islam
They don’t give a tinkers’ dam
One more oppressed generations, they allow to pass.
JesusisWhite – WTF! You seem to be reading an awful lot into a couple of simple cartoon characters.
Mmm, that answers my Nassar question; ‘missed’ the point as usual (as has ‘JesusisWhite. Never heard of playing with stereotypes, JiW?).
Pesky western colonial feminists…
Jesus is white … Muhammad is dark…
in a black and white comic?
….and then I said..”Oh shut-up and put some ruddy clothes on!” well, after that, what could the vet say and…..oh sorry..wrong site.
A bloody good point well made! If JiW would care to look again, realisation should dawn that the boys share skin colour; it’s just the colour of their hair that differs.
Which leaves just the body types, and I don’t think that Laurel and Hardy or Little and Large were parodying Muslim/Christian – white people/brown people racial differences…were they?
You are right. They are both white! NOW IM PISSED OFF! Can you please make both grey ( so they can be both dark) , make both fat, and hairy… Jesus looks too Western… After all only white people from West are perfect looking.
I as a Muslim BROWN woman find it offensive to see my prophets being made to look white, when they weren’t. Esp. Jesus. I’m sure he was hairy and bigger…
And why is Mo fully clothed in Bed? And Jesus is topless? If they are Arabs, they should be so hairy then you shouldn’t be able to see their skin…
Oh and Muhammad Jones, could you make a cartoon about Mo and Jesus in bed with Ed Said and all the feminists of colour that don’t support Femen. Because they are all evil and barbaric. Hell all non whites are barbaric and white christians are just on the wrong path.
OK, JiW, I’ll be the one to ask: Exactly what is your point?
By the way, Mo is also naked. Do you see his hairy chest just peeking over the newspaper?
Oh, and if you think that Author makes Jesus look perfect, I’d love to know what he’s a perfect example of, exactly.
I think JiW is the prose version of NBH. Makes about as much sense.
JiW… do you know what a stereotype is?
Both caricatures (because that is what they are) are based upon very blatant stereotypes. As this comic is satire, such depictions are done on purpose… as part of the satire.
Maybe you need to take a course in satire?
HFB, if I didn’t know better (and to be honest, I don’t) I’d say that JiW is the same person as the one recently accusing us of being racists ‘cos Darwin was, or whatever (s)he was blathering on about. I’d look back for the name, but you know me…….. 😉
A slight aside, if I may.
I’m having a wee debate on a thread at Pharyngula because I referred to Thatcher as a witch.
Long story short, I showed that ‘witch’ can be used for either gender, and was ‘hit’ with a link to a wiki page on the ‘fallacy of etymology’, an obvious sack of shite reflecting the dumbing down of language skills and narrowing of definitions to their most popular modern usage only (a bit like ‘Grecian’ 🙂 ).
Running to wikipedia is one of the most common forms of argument among those who know no better, so in ‘honour’ of the wiki-know-it-alls, I’m starting* a new meme; argumentum ad wiki (the argument from ((or appeal to)) wikipedia), which generally manifests itself as “no, you’re wrong because (insert wiki link here).
Please help get this off the ground; you will be helping to prevent the spread of this creeping menace to intelligence.
*unless, as with my last attempt at coining a phrase (homonazi, if memory serves), somebody has beaten me to it.
Acolyte, I endorse your meme. Argumentum ad Wiki. Too funny.
Author, brilliant and subtle as usual. One of your best.
Re the question, what do women get from Islam: I remember a short video by a former Playboy playmate explaining why she had converted and extolling the virtues of the position of women in Islam. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NOuEy-rGzU
Strangely enough, I could see her point. If you’ve lived in a world where the only thing that mattered was your looks and attractiveness to men, getting hit on at every turn, a burka could be a relief. But I think that’s a very small part of the Islamic experience for women.
JiW is an obvious troll folks. Somebody left the door open. Where’s the bouncer.
I love this comic, but I love it almost even more when a troll finds his or her way down to the comments section. I get a sort of perverse pleasure out of watching them and their “arguments” being gently and politely torn to pieces with logic and humor. Does that make me a bad person?
As is so typical, an utterly brilliant cartoon.
Well now, I’m not so sure JiW isn’t just being a “Poe” instead of a troll. I mean, I can take JiW’s comments a being very dryly satirical instead of being simple and idiotic. We all might want to be just a little bit careful about who is missing the satire.
As for them there alleged 72 virgin houris, I’ve always wondered if anyone has ever determined if they are indeed all of one sex, and if so which one?
Nassar, usually you are simply inept in verse, but this time you are utterly incorrect. One of the strongest elements within modern feminism is a push towards increasing rights for / decreasing oppression of women in Islamic nations. Do some research.
On the cover of the book “Jesus and Mo”, they both look brown to me. But I have to admit, I never cared to notice one way or the other before. They could both be a nice healthy yellow, like on the Simpson’s, and it would still slip past my uncaring eye.
Alexander. Of course. JiW could be just funnin’ with us. In which case, ha ha ha. Poe’s law exists for a reason.
Watching that video i linked to again reminded me that this woman’s view of what a woman is all about is totally locked into the wife/mother/home-maker role. Just listen to her list of the “duties” of a woman. If she’s happy with that role, and agrees that men can’t control themselves around women so we should live in separate spiritual worlds, I can see why she would love being a Muslim. But I’d like a chance to ask her what Islam thinks of women who don’t want to be a wife/mother/home maker, and how free women are to assume other roles.
AoS – Yes! Argumentum ad Wiki is excellent, and I shall seek opportunities to use it.
You’re a braver man than I am to enter Pharyngula. I love PZ’s excellent prose and well turned arguments, but left because I got fed up with some of the rabble that frequent that site. WEIT is much more civilised, but I know I’m probably missing some good stuff. Do you recommend returning?
I’m away for a few days, see you all soon.
@AoS – sorry, but http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Argumentum_ad_Wikipediam
And I have to apologise for directing JiW to this cartoon – she called herself GreenDay here, but was making the exact same points before her post was moderated off http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/apr/10/femen-naked-shock-troops-of-feminism#comment-22643446
@JesusIsWhite – I’ve pointed it out before, I’m sure. All the evidence points towards Jesus being black. 1) He loved Gospel; 2) He called everyone ‘brother’; 3) He couldn’t get a fair trial. The guy was black…
AoS, love it: will use it. Sorry that it turns out you didn’t coin it.
Haggis for Brains, agree entirely. Love PZ’s stuff but cannot bear the nasty arrogance and intolerance of his followers who turn on anyone who even slightly disagrees with them like a pack of ravenous dogs. Ironically, I went back for another look after months away and saw AoS’s Thatcher comments – hilarious. I believe that the old ‘never speak ill of the dead’ is rubbish: if someone is a vile bastard when alive they do not suddenly turn into sweetness and light because they are dead. AoS, I have not seen the replies to your comments but have seen before the Pharyngula-ites vehement reproach to ‘gendered slurs’. I believe this is also rubbish. There is a world of difference between castings slurs at someone BECAUSE of their gender and using appropriate gendered language to refer to that person. The word witch is a mild slur generally used to describe a woman (although I agree that it technically refers equally to men and have heard it used thus) and I see no difference between calling a woman a witch and calling a man a dick or similar. I am a huge fan of political correctness: the language we use shapes the culture around us – but I think the Pharyngula type of over-the-top faux-outrage detracts from the real word issues such as the word ‘gay’ now being the equivalent of ‘bad’ or the use of ‘bitch’ to refer to any woman in general conversation.
Lakabux, read the bible lately? Christian doctrine is no kinder to women than Islam, it’s just that Christianity currently has less fundamentalism. The majority of Muslims in the world take their outdated doctrines no more seriously than do Christians.
I seem to remember one previous person accusing our author (pbuh) of racism because Jesus is portrayed as White and Muhammod as Brown. I think it is very clever that our brains can pull such symbolism from two almost stick-figure drawings (apologies Author!) with exactly the same skin and beard shade and the only difference being that J’s hair is left uncoloured and Mo has more chest hair. I think this tells us how strong the imprint of stereotypes are. I too interpret J as being fair and ‘Western’ and Mo as a swarthy Arab but, unlike our new friend, I have always assumed these stereotypes were part of the joke. We have Jesus the quintessential hippy: tall, slender, pale and laid back – and this is how much of Christianity portrays him: “gentle jesus meek and mild”. Whereas Mo is an aggressive short-man syndrome type – which also fits the story.
youse guys are funny.
@AoS,
Your calling Thatcher a witch is inexcusable! After all, the “W” key and the “B” key are easily half a keyboard apart.
Not unless you want to either toe the official line to the letter, or like to argue with people who make Thatch look reasonable, my friend.
mary2 ” Love PZ’s stuff but cannot bear the nasty arrogance and intolerance of his followers who turn on anyone who even slightly disagrees with them like a pack of ravenous dogs.”
Amen to that. Too arrogant to consider they may be wrong, even over the minutae. Please do look at the comments on that thread from the last paragraph of this comment.
mary2, JoJo,and jerry w, all brilliant comments. Thanks for the smiles 🙂
Now, back into the fray to see if anybody else has made such fair-minded, well reasoned arguments such as ‘fuck you’ or ‘you’re a fucking idiot’.
machigai, I see what you did over at pharyngula.
Love you!
Nope. It makes you welcome at the Cock and Bull.
Oh, and DH, you asked “Where’s the bouncer?” I retired. It’s much more fun to beat them up with intelligence and humour (and it’s a lot easier on my knuckles). 😉
@JoJo – LOL @ your characterisation of JoN as an African-African 😉
But, since he was also Jewish, how come his trial was so messed?
Unless I can just hear Mary’s nagging: “Yeshua, you’ll be the death of me! Oy vey, I have no lawyer son! Fine, go be a carpenter– you’re just like your father! Go break my heart already. Feh.”
@AoS – you’re right about PZ’s followers (and, dare I say it, PZ himself) on Pharyngulla. Much as I agree with most of what’s said there, I made the “mistake” of questioning something once… all I can say is, I’m glad they don’t know where I live… the nice thing about this place, in contrast, is that there is a sense of humour that prevails. God help (if we’ll pardon the expression) people that cannot laugh at themselves.
Not only a prevailing sense of humour, xxxFred, but a willingness to consider other points of view and debate them in a civilised manner. Plus, of course, we don’t use the ‘pharyngulate’ ‘fuck you you fucking idiot’ method of debating (at least, not until all patience has been eroded, and only if the recipient is a fucking idiot).
Which gives me an idea: Nassar, old fruit, if you’d be so kind, I’d love to see what reaction you’d get over there. Go on, do it for the Cock and Bull.
All I can say is that they’re heading for some serious lower-back problems if they don’t learn to take their heads out of their arses occasionally.
Re: The comments above concerning Pharyngula, a sense of humor & civil dialog. HEAR! HEAR! I used to count myself as a member of that Horde, but no more. Life is quite a bit too short…
Going off topic slightly, lot of activity on twitter recently involving Burkha, Hijab and other ‘accessories’. Am I right in saying that, the passage in the Quaran that led to women covering their hair, translates simply as “Women should cover their adornments…” For some reason, that ended up being interpreted as meaning ‘hair’. Why I wonder? I would have thought it most likely meant ‘breasts’ – which most women do cover to one degree or another – so how come the a woman’s hair was decided upon? That said, I could be entirely wrong about the translation anyway, in which case, I’ll shut-up and go back to my macramé. xx
72 virgins, boff. 71 virgins, boff. 70 virgins….. zero virgins. Okay, so that’s taken care of the fun for all of a wet weekend in paradise. Now what? There are millions of quadrillions of years to go and you’ve run out of virgins.
I don’t think they thought this one through.
Eternity is a *lot* of weekends. 72 is a very small number.
A second issue; any psychotic, sadistic, demented, aggressive, 800 kilo scion of the world’s worst prison systems could technically be a virgin – at least in the “never having known a member of the opposite gender” sense. Virgins are not all quivering gorgeous teen girlies in filmy near-nudity. They could be huge and wearing armoured, studded leather. With whips.
Caveat emptor. Read the fine print.
Maybe Jiw should print out their copy and colour in with crayons- mind you get the colour right for Mo tho lest you offend muslims with idolatry
so how come the a woman’s hair was decided upon?
perhaps because it is part of orthodox judaism and Mo wanted to copy that religion
Einsteins Ghost, A good spot, sir. I would have said that ‘adornments’ refers to accessories, so necklaces, bangles, earrings and so on. It would make sense covering up ones valuables in such a lawless time and place.
WetWednesdayInBognor, as I pointed out recently, most of the dead popes and Hilda Ogden were virgins at death, and now I think about it, Ann Widdecombe claims to have never ‘bumped uglies’ (as the son of a friend of mine calls sex).
I wonder; if one dies a virgin, is the body marked ‘Returned Un-opened’? (Thanks to my late mother for that one; it always tickled her).
There is a rumor going around that dying a virgin adds one to that pool of 72 virgins supplied for the delectation of jihadi terrorists. I don’t recommend it.
AoS:
I don’t know about the “Returned Un-opened” thing, but the fantasia of some father to want they daughters to be virgin until they get married remind me of what you can see on some equipment: “Guaranty void if seal is broken”.
For the catholic, the wedding is null if it has not been consomed (sael has not been broken: you can return to the father).
Same if the girl is not virgin for the wedding: not a new equipement, you can return it.
omg, “Guarantee void if seal broken…” Brilliant. All we need now is the ‘No user-servicable parts inside’ sticker.
Your English continues to improve, by the way*, but there are still some mistakes. For example, one doesn’t ‘consome’ a marriage (one more ‘m’ and you’ve got ‘consomme’ – clear soup) but ‘consumates’ it. Here’s the whole comment with corrections:
So, for the most part just very minor mistakes.
Who’d have thought J&M would do so much for education, not to mention international relations 😉
Now, whisper it quietly but I may not only be a prophet and the world’s most influential poet, I may just have performed a miracle too.
Read on, MacDuffs:
I think I may have won my debate on ‘witch’. At any rate, since my last post on the subject almost 6 hours ago, apart from a thinly veiled concession by CC there is the deafening sound of silence. I know that I gave a good account of my stance (though I say so myself), complete with evidence to back it up, but it’s not like them to let evidence stand in the way of a good roasting of a dissenter.
Maybe they’re all furiously scanning wiki’s database to find something else they can use.
*For the benefit of non-regulars, I am not patronising our new friend in France, omg, (S)he has already said that (s)he wants to learn to speak English proper like wot we do (ignore those last 5 words, omg, that’s just me being ironic…or something), and is happy to be corrected. I say this because I’m just too feckin’ tired to argue anymore today (performing miracles sure takes the wind out of one) so want to avoid misunderstandings.
Oh bugger.
omg, my corrections contain a couple of typo’s in the last sentence. It should be ‘a virgin’, not ‘avirgin’, and ‘proves to be used’.
Sorry about that.
Don’t recommend what? Dying a virgin or being added to the pool?
Not that it matters to me, I’ve done the deed at least five times. In fact, I lost mvirginity in a field on a hot summer day, oh so many tears ago. Unfortunately, just as I was hitting my stride he father looked over the dry-stone wall right next to us. His bleating nearly knocked me out of rhythm 🙂
Don’t recommend what? Dying a virgin or being added to the pool?
Not that it matters to me, I’ve done the deed at least five times. In fact, I lost mvirginity in a field on a hot summer day, oh so many tears ago. Unfortunately, just as I was hitting my stride her father looked over the dry-stone wall right next to us. His bleating nearly knocked me out of rhythm 🙂
I don’t know what happened there!
Nassar gets points for commenting in limerick form at least
Only if you have an innate hatred of the true limerick form. The rhythm is as important as the rhyme, vis:
There was a young girl from Australia
Who painted her **** like a dahlia
At sixpence a smell
She was doing quite well
But two bob a lick was a failia
Sorry guys, is it my round already.
PS I’m missing my avatar, but posting from my sister’s computer. Can anyone else see it?
PPS I had forgotten I have to log in when on a strange computer (andt his one sure is strange), so maybe it will return now.
OK, my avatar is back.
Sorry for lowering the tone, but I can’t think of a good clean example of a limerick. Please don’t take this as a request.
I’m a huge fan of PZ, but I keep a low profile on the Pharyngula comment threads. Too many self righteous opinionated blowhards for my comfort. It’s always a relief to come home to the Cock and Bull.
Amen to that DH 😉
I’ve got a bloke over there now telling me that yes, men can be witches, but ‘witch’ is a gender-specific insult, and he follows this up by saying that men can be nannies, but ‘nanny’ is a gender-specific word. He also admits that witch doctors are predominently male, but that doesn’t count toward my point because it’s a different kind of witch!
How the fuck does one debate with somebody who is clearly arguing against himself?
@xxxFred
That’s quite clever using a wiki article to argue that AoS didn’t coin the term Argument ad Wiki
It feels like a definitive proof, but it doesn’t seem like it should be.
Second Thought, xxxFred’s link is to uncyclopedia, the polar opposite – a piss-take of, in fact – of wiki in that it admits up front that its articles are largely satirical and are to be taken with more salt than Siberia holds. But, satire or not, it did beat me to the argumentum ad wiki, and for pretty much the same reasons.
Oh dear! I don’t thik that the following will go down too well with the folks I’ve been debating* on Pharyngula.
I’ve just heard on the news that so many people in the UK are buying or downloading Ding-Dong, The Witch Is Dead that it will be in the music charts top-ten this weekend.
*Those of you who, like me, appreciate the scientific method might enjoy the last – and so far unanswered – comment I left on that discussion.
Y’know, sometimes I amuse myself.
***Gender-slur, in case you were wondering.
Ik heb het in een krant gelezen:
Iron Lady overleden
Roest in vrede
Ok, you will have to find the language to translate it… Or you can wait and I will translate if later.
I will not let you wait too long for the translation:
I have read this in a newspaper:
The Iron Lady is dead
Rust in peace
AoS
‘No user-servicable parts inside’
It look like when the church forbid the study of the human body in the middle-age. If I remember properly, Leonardo da Vinci have to hide to perform disecction of humanbody to try to understand how it work. Knowing how it work helped the doctors to repareit it… (hence ‘No user-servicable parts inside’ ).
We can see the same with the research on stem cells now. The RCC is so against it. Again ‘No user-servicable parts inside’.
omg, without going to my books to check, I recall that da Vinci’s interest in dissection was partly scientific, partly artistic. It was through his understanding of how muscles work and how they were structured and moved, for example, that he was able to make his depictions of the human form so anatomically accurate, particularly in his sculptures. I’m no art expert by any stretch of the imagination (though I could give the Antiques Roadshow experts a run for their money on ceramics and glassware) but even I can see that his David is simply breathtaking.
But yes, dissection of the human body was frowned upon at the time, as was most scientific enquiry if it came into conflict with the Bible – and it usually did.
AoS: Who’s David?
Hmm…advice to self: don’t try being a smart arse when tipsy and sleepy. Of co?urse that should read “WHOSE David?”
Wow, did I really give ‘David’ as an example of da Vinci’s work? Well, I did say I was no art expert, but that error is inexcusable. My apologies*, and the next round is on me 🙂
Note to self: step away from the compter for an hour or two after taking meds.
Try again.
It was partly due to da Vinci’s study of anatomy that his artworks showing the human form were so realistic.
*I really should cross-post that to Pharyngula, as an example of how to concede the point when one is in error.
I suppose worse liberties have been taken with the historicity of O, Draconian Devil…personally I’ve always been intrigued with the exact nature of his religiosity. If he had lived in more libertarian times, I guess he would have been an out and out atheist.
Draconian Devil?
test
Passed with honours.
Thanks, AoS 🙂
I had a copy of posts deleted earlier on, and wondered if I had overstepped the mark with my mucky limerick (see above 1.22pm). It turns out that by posting from another computer and using a different email address, the system rejected my comments. Having a bit of a nightmare right now trying to remove my late wife’s name from my Gmail address, causing all sorts of knock on problems.
Author has kindly stepped in personally to re-instate my comments.
Catching up now: “Y’know, sometimes I amuse myself.” We all do it, but most of us don’t boast about it.
*couple of posts*
HFB, I was having a problem last year with comments. For some reason every time I visited here the page wouldn’t refresh from my last visit, and the only way to see the latest comments was to comment myself first. I did initially just do a ‘test’ as you did, so to prevent having a whole load of ‘tests’ on every thread I started to go to random comics and leaving test-posts there. Even that got boring after a bit, so to amuse myself – and because there was little chance of too many people seeing them – I started to leave silly comments.
Well, would you believe that somebody did see some of them? The cheeky bugger even left a response to one of them, telling me to ‘grow up’!
Me, a man so old I was could almost have been doctor-in-attendance at the birth of the Universe.
Loved your limerick, by the way, it reminded me of the woman from Leeds who swallowed a packet of seeds; or the woman called Florrie who went for a kip in a quarry (but that one is bad, and even I’m not that stupid.
I know, and I really shouldn’t, but then I make regularly a right arse of myself instead (see my da Vinci post above). You all get to see my wrong-‘uns, so I thought it only fair I share the occasional good-‘un, if only to restore balance.
And the MG’s vanished again. Lovely car, by the way. One of the best drives of my life was taking a newly-restored 1963 MGA Roadster from Newcastle to Cardiff via as many B-roads as I could find. The drive back was in a 1976 Austin Allegro 1300 Estate; the boredom nearly killed me.
Yes, I know, because I was going through some early ones just after you did that, looking to see when most of the current regulars started. I posted some cheeky replies to you too.
Aah, so theres more for me to find? That’s me busy tonight 😉
Are you around, Botanist? If your ‘nym is a true reflection of your field of expertise (and if Author wouldn’t mind me using the Cock and Bull for something other that the merciless mocking of religion….again), would you mind having a bash at identifying – by description alone – a wild plant with a delicious* and fiery flavour I came across this evening? If you give me the nod, I’ll give you description.
*I’ve always liked to forage and cook with wild food, so when I come across a new and delicious-looking plant I can’t resist a nibble.
AoS:
I hope you are very prudent while eating new plantes. We would not like to ear that something bad happen to you.
http://www.eatweeds.co.uk/safety-guidelines-for-edible-wild-food-plants
I hear foxgloves are quite tasty ;-).
Just kidding – don’t try this at home!
While cleaning out some boxes at work last week I came across a booklet on poisonous plants of the region in which I live. Turns out most of my garden is poisonous and I could kill you all with several different herbal treats! I’m thinking of going into the ‘tea and tisane’ business.
Mary2, how about holding Nearer My God to Thee ‘herbal’ tea and cake mornings at your local
asylumchurch?HFB, they don’t taste as good as they look, so if my ticker starts to play up I think I’ll get my digitalis from the doctor.
omg, thank you for the concern, and for the link, but don’t worry, I don’t eat anything unless I know it’s safe; I just crush a leaf between my fingers and touch my tongue to it, then if it tastes OK I’ll find out what it is. Or in other words, I look it up before I cook it up.
As it happens, I think I’ve identified this one as a pilewort*, the lesser celandine, Ranunculus ficaria.
Only the very young leaves and stems are safe to eat uncooked, and are high in vitamin C); the initial taste is like watercress but they contain a mild toxin (protoanemonin) with an effect similar to that of hot chilli peppers, so the sweet taste is followed by quite a fiery kick. Older leaves can be harmful if eaten fresh in quantity, but cooking or drying them neutralises the toxin.
*So called because it was traditionally used in a poultice to treat haemorrhoids, though if it gives the same kick as it does when eaten, I think I can guess what Johnny Cash was singing about in Ring of Fire 😉
AoS:
This morning, I had no time to find the following link. I know it is not from your area, but I post the link because it contains interesting information and I find it nicely made. It contains also nice photos. Just enjoy: http://northernbushcraft.com/index.htm
All this beautiful plants, don’t you find they has been perfectly “designed” for us to eat?
I could not resist…
OMG, I come from coconut country: designed for us to eat? It take me 20 minutes and a claw hammer to get into one of them.
You’re doing it wrong, mary2, the hammer has too small a surface area for effective coconut opening. Try a machette or heavy meat cleaver*; alternatively place it on a hard surface and whack it with a good-sized rock.
*one for the drinkers among us: lop the top off a coconut with a cleaver (or even a saw if your aims not too clever), leave the coconut water in, add some ice, top up with white rum, bung in a straw or two, sit back, relax, and enjoy. It even makes the coconut flash even tastier once you’ve finished the drink, but keep it wawy from the kids.
coconut flEsh, not flash. And I don’t even drink!
Yet again, ah bollocks!