“I would just like to point out that Jesus doesn’t taste so good, and his texture is cardboard-like. I would want my diety to have better taste.”
For the record, the whole “eating of the body and blood of Jesus” thing started as a way to convert canniblistic tribes to Christianity
…..same with Christmas while am I at it. Think about it. Jesus was born in the middle east. During december, in the middle east, in a fuckin manger, the baby jesus woulda froze to death… but w/e thats 2000 years of story telling for ya
December 25th is also the birthday of Mitra, son of Ahura Mazda (the Wise Lord in Avestan) born to the virgin Anahita, living as a celibate preacher for 64 years (Jesus, tragically only lived to be ’bout 33 years old), getting twelve apostles, and then dying for the sins of Humanity (but he’s a Sacrificial Bull, not just some pussy-assed lamb!). Also, 12/25 is the winter solstice (birthday of the sun).
The oldest known son of god that was born on December 25th to a virgin and saved humanity was Horus, the Egyptian solar deity. All the others, Hephaestus, Krishna, Dionysus, Mitra and Jesus are just copycats.
Mr. Anderson, I’ve been mildly bothered by the “snow on snow on snow” refrain of some Christmas tunes for many decades but have never been motivated enough to look up the climate of Bethlehem until now. Prompted by your suggestion that baby Jesus would have been frozen, I did so.
December in that town isn’t too chilly. It averages above freezing and the odds of snow are not great. The baby’s “real” birthday, around the tax-data gathering months of March and April are quite nice.
Swaddled in a blanket. he could quite easily have survived his first Christmas in a bed of straw, straw is rather good insulation and the animals and adult humans would have provided some heat in addition to that from Mummy.
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In a world defined by outrage and offence and liberal spinelessness, Jesus and Mo is a treasure, whose value we should never fail to recognize. Read them. Laugh. And think. Kenan Malik
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Often hilarious, frequently wry, these cartoons do what all the best cartoons do: they tell the truth through humour. Terry Sanderson, NSS President
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January 9, 2019
I would just like to point out that Jesus doesn’t taste so good, and his texture is cardboard-like. I would want my diety to have better taste.
His texture does change to that of mucilage as He dissolves on your tongue, if that’s any consolation.
I have experience with the whole Communion ritual, and although Jesus tastes pretty dry and bland, his blood is pretty intoxicating.
Heehee, Catholic here…there -was- this one time at this one church where Jesus was chewey and was kind of sweet. He was delicious.
When I was a catholic jesus always used to stick to the roof of my mouth.
lols. My church has gluten and dairy and yeast free jesus. its gross.
“I would just like to point out that Jesus doesn’t taste so good, and his texture is cardboard-like. I would want my diety to have better taste.”
http://www.venganza.org
I’ve always thought that he tasted kinda like special k.
There was this one time Jesus tasted Salty…
This is the one place where the Flying Spaghetti Monster has the advantage (provided that he isn’t raw).
[…] Tirinha original publicada em 9 de junho de 2006 A última fala de Jesus nesta tirinha, “me morda”, é uma tradução literal da expressão “bite me”, uma gÃria bastante comum com um significado parecido com “não enche” ou “cai fora”. […]
All Jesus is yeast-free… it’s UNLEAVENED.
And yeah, He always sticks to the roof of my mouth too.
For the record, the whole “eating of the body and blood of Jesus” thing started as a way to convert canniblistic tribes to Christianity
…..same with Christmas while am I at it. Think about it. Jesus was born in the middle east. During december, in the middle east, in a fuckin manger, the baby jesus woulda froze to death… but w/e thats 2000 years of story telling for ya
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RxcmAaGgNw4/TxX52kLAe1I/AAAAAAAAA-w/MPsgYO6_YQ0/s1600/transub.jpg
December 25th is also the birthday of Mitra, son of Ahura Mazda (the Wise Lord in Avestan) born to the virgin Anahita, living as a celibate preacher for 64 years (Jesus, tragically only lived to be ’bout 33 years old), getting twelve apostles, and then dying for the sins of Humanity (but he’s a Sacrificial Bull, not just some pussy-assed lamb!). Also, 12/25 is the winter solstice (birthday of the sun).
The oldest known son of god that was born on December 25th to a virgin and saved humanity was Horus, the Egyptian solar deity. All the others, Hephaestus, Krishna, Dionysus, Mitra and Jesus are just copycats.
Mr. Anderson, I’ve been mildly bothered by the “snow on snow on snow” refrain of some Christmas tunes for many decades but have never been motivated enough to look up the climate of Bethlehem until now. Prompted by your suggestion that baby Jesus would have been frozen, I did so.
December in that town isn’t too chilly. It averages above freezing and the odds of snow are not great. The baby’s “real” birthday, around the tax-data gathering months of March and April are quite nice.
Swaddled in a blanket. he could quite easily have survived his first Christmas in a bed of straw, straw is rather good insulation and the animals and adult humans would have provided some heat in addition to that from Mummy.
I think you worry too much.
Babies are nowhere near so fragile as we imagine.