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April 5th, 2017
Here’s the story behind this one.
A repeat winner in this month’s raffle – Martin from Vermont – wins a signed print. Congrats, Martin!
You can join the fun here:
Latest book…
Random oldie…
February 5, 2020-
- NICE T-SHIRT (Thank you for not provoking my uncontrollable lust). Currently unavailable.
Wish that Jesus-Eggs website was real ๐
It’s always about Jesus, does noone think about Brian any more?
I saw them for sale on the best zombie site of all… fits jebus to a tee… the walking dead
That good ole marketplace religion.
Christians getting upset that holidays they appropriated from Judaism and pagan religions are now being apprpropriated from them… that’s rich as a Cadbury creme egg!
Thanks for reminding us the true meaning of Easter… I keep forgetting it.
I bought such a Jesus-Egg at the price as announced but they refused to give me the discount, because it was a Saturday. Coming home, I felt touchรฉ when I reaized it was April 1st…
.-
@Shockwave, I think of Brain often. A very good film in my opinion. Still enjoy the song at the ending and saved it to my iTunes player on my old iMac. Always look on the bright side of death, just before you draw your terminal breath…..LOL, I hope to do so myself soon enough.
Spot on, Surfie!
Easter is the time Christians can get some
Booty and spoils like a muslim
Money saved and not spent
ramadan or Lent
Is blown on an orgey for a glutton.
I’ve always wanted to bite the head off a chocolate Jesus. Be better if it had cherry cordial or raspberry filling.
Muslims don’t want Easter on eggs. They want to destroy Christianity. That’s why they’re killing them in Muslim countries.
Someone – I think the correct way is to pierce a spear-shaped hole in its abdomen. Happy Eostre ๐
What about my lord and savior The Big Blue Easter Bunny.
His eggs sustain me with the wonderful gift of Cadbury
chemical goodness.
Nassar’s use of ‘glutton’ reminded me that Jesus is the Lamb of God; a lamb, if not slaughtered early, becomes an adult, and the adult’s shoulder, after being slowly roasted for several hours with garlic and fresh rosemary in my oven this coming sunday will make me a mutton-filled glutton come the evening.
Throw in a Pepsi and it’s a deal.
Would you like ice with your Pepsi, Ophelia? ๐
CofE tried to say that Cadbury and matt trust, spat on grave of john cadbury a quaker. 1 quakers dont really do easter. 2 Quakers were stopped from going to University when cadbury was alive by lovely kind C of E until 1871, beam in you own eye sentanu
I’m going to read that as insensitive sarcasm, Graham. Not bigoted idiocy… >.>
Sounds delish, Acolyte. Wish I could come over, too. ^_^
And as they were watching the Hollyoaks omnibus, Jesus took an egg, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, Take, eat; for this is my Creme Egg.
Then Thomas, which doubted him, answered and said, Master, but the cocoa bean comes from South America which has not yet been discovered.
Then saith Jesus unto them, Verily I say unto thee that it is but an allegory, be not so literal.
In Manchester they tried to remind people what happened at Easter, and the Christianists complained about that. Ya can’t win.
http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/plan-crucify-public-manchester-city-12846578
I’m teaching my daughter that Easter is when we celebrate Jesus hatching from a chocolate egg laid by the Easter bunny.
I’m gonna burn for eternity, but it’ll be worth it.
I already got the story from the Daily Mash:
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/cadbury-ignoring-part-of-bible-where-rabbit-gives-jesus-a-wispa-egg-20170404125383
FreeFox, you know you’d be welcome.
Now, these Jesus eggs; is there a tiny little Jesus in each one, like a ‘Grow Your Own Saviour’ kit?
@Welshmam
Excellent! And, of course, Jesus’ disciples were Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey which betrayed him.
Chris Turner, you may be interested to know that the tradition of Easter egg rolling in Washington, D.C. was begun by Dolley Madison, who was a Quaker. (See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egg_rolling , which also mentions pace-egging songs. Does anyone here know any pace-egging songs?)
Speaking of songs…
Welshmam, have you told your daughter the Easter Bunny’s name? If so, what did you say his name is? The article cited by Danlantic claims that the Easter Bunny’s name is Gregory, but I was always under the impression that his name is Peter Cottontail. (See https://www.brownielocks.com/bunnytrail.html , where you can click on the grey triangle near the upper left corner of the page to hear the song, and scroll down to see the lyrics.) Perhaps this inconsistency is one of the points that separates the C of E from other Christian sects. (I’d insert a tongue-in-cheek emoji here, but I don’t know how.)
I’ve been told that the original meaning of Easter was a fertility celebration during which the young people were encouraged to pair up and go off into the woods to have sex. Not sure this is true, but it beats the hell out of the Christian insistence that the original meaning of Easter is a celebration of a crucifixion and emergence of a zombie.
And the above paragraph is my proof that I have nothing original or witty to say about the subject this morning. Sorry about that, mates. Acolyte, Freefox, Haggis, Son of Glenner et al, if any of you ever visit Western Canada it would be a joy to meet you. I’ll slaughter a lamb in your honor. I have a friend from Uruguay who loves to barbecue, and does an amazing job of it.
if easter is Xian – where do chocolate eggs laid by hares fit into the ‘jesus’ fairy tale? ?
“Jesus-egg.com” is fictitious , but realeasteregg.co.uk is genuine and does a roaring trade at this time of year. Credit where it’s due though, they use Fairtrade chocolate and raise money for charity. it’s just the accompanying theology you might find indigestible .
I heard Easter is just shitty Christmas. Nobody says, “What did you get for Easter?” It’s always chocolate eggs and crappy candy. When I was a kid, we all got a little glass of Manischewitz. Now I suppose that would be considered child abuse.
two cents’ worth – just for you, The Watersons. Don’t forget to put your hand over your ear if singing along.
DH – now I have to make that trip to Canada ๐
Fancy a bit of Sassenach company for the flight, Haggis?
Hi, guys. Exactly how big is Canada and how many seats are there on an aeroplane capable of flying to there?
Which is my very, very subtle way of asking who is invited to this cรจilidh, shindig, hootenanny or MIRL?
Hint, I quite like cooked, elderly lamb bits.
AoS and helperone, looks like we may have to charter a private plane. Anyone else for the Skylark?
Whereabouts in Western Canada anyway, DH? Don’t worry, we’ll warn you first. Besides, I have several bloggers in NZ I want to visit as well – it all goes on the bucket list.
helperone, you do realise that the Cock & Bull is the headquarters of the pedants association known as UPOTWA (United Pedants of the World Association? As one of the founders of UPOTWA, I feel duty bound to point out that there is no such thing as elderly lamb.
As for Canada, it does appear that Darwin has issued an open invitation, so get packing. I do wonder, though, how our resident erudite curmudgeon would react to a coach-full of his fellow miscreants appearing over the horizon, knives and forks at the ready.
There is no god just stupid people.
But some of us are Learning.
Acolyhte: “I do wonder, though, how our resident erudite curmudgeon would react to a coach-full of his fellow miscreants appearing over the horizon, knives and forks at the ready.”
With delight. Absolute delight. What a party we could have.
This is where I live. Check it out. This is your normal crappy tourist hype site, but that’s not the whole picture. There’s enough going on here to make it interesting on all levels and in the summer this is the most beautiful place in the world.
http://www.tourismnanaimo.com/nanaimo
Just, please, make an effort to arrive all together. Plan to stay for a week. No, make that three days. I can play host for three days. Then you are on your own. There’s a lot to explore in the rest of the country.
Oh My Random-forces-of-physics-and-stuff, Canada has bagpipes! Between a year of sermons in a church and five seconds of piped bag screeching, I think I’d prefer the church.
If we do come to the Frozen Wastes Of IceWorld, can we go pipe-bag hunting? Is that legal?
Alternatively, are stapedectomies available?
Mr. of Sagan (I’m thinking that your name is a version of “de Sagan” or “von Sagan” or “ibn Sagan” where the “of” is part of the surname), if you take a rack of lamb and leave it outside on a tree for a decade or so I think it may become “elderly”.
But I was more thinking of what happens when lamb is not converted into food, when it is left to frolic and feed and have fun in the weeds for years and years before being stopped for lunch -ours, not its. I know that technically it would then no more be a “lamb” than an adult human is a child but there is the contrary example of a certain Mr. Drumpf.
Or, if you wish to get nearly on-topic, we have a certain Carpenter.
Now, how do we organise this Invasion Of Very-Northern America?
Looks like the C&B is going to be a pretty lonely place for a while – Oh I forgot, it’s a virtual pub, so boozers, trouble makers etc will still be there, even if physically on Vancouver Island!
Wow, Vancouver Island! Is it possible to charter a small boat and sail among the islands? I grew up doing just that on the west coast of Scotland. I’m unlikely to get there, I’m afraid, but if I do, I’ll definitely visit you.
DH: just up the road from where my sister lives, could kill two birds (or easter bunnies) with one stone. BTW I make a cracking lamb curry.
Haggis, I was planning on flying but we could take my 1930’s yacht. All I’d need is a miracle from J.C. to turn it from a 2ft pond yacht into a full-sized ocean-going boat, so if we all pray really, really hard….:-)
Mr. of Sagan, that sort of prayer is answered with only two things, utter silence from and complete indifference of any gods that might exist. It never works.
If it does on this occcasion, and you can consider this a legally binding contract, you can own my house.
I trust Physics. It has let me down, hard, many times in this world’s gravity well so I know it works.
Prayer, not so much.
Twenty millennia and more of city-stuff. Tens of thousands of millions of prayers and not once has there ever been clear evidence of an intervention.
Gravity works.
We see this every time it teams up with the Pauli Exclusion Principle to smack us in the face.
Prayer is futile. And a waste of time, effort and energy.
Of course, all of that could be disproven by one small boat …
helperone:
on prayer.
It can be defined as the one-way telepathic messaging towards a never-proven ghost supposed to be there somewhere in the immensely vast emptiness.
IF your prayer hits the mark, you are immediately enlisted is the worlds VERY BEST marksman. All privilidges included.
Never attained yet…
Thanks, HaggisForBrains! I get it now–pace-egging is like trick-or-treating at Halloween, or carolling (wassailling) at Christmastime. So I doubt the pace-eggers when they sing, “we’ll come no more nigh you until the next year.” ๐
The Polish version of pace-egging is Dyngus Day. (See https://www.dyngusday.com/our-story ) It’s not mentioned on the Web site, but according to my Dad, the way a girl could get a guy to stop chasing
after her with pussywillows (Dad never mentioned squirt guns) was to give the guy something from her Easter basket. I assume that means something from the traditional Polish Easter breakfast basket (kielbasa, ham, sweet rye bread, placek (a streusel-topped coffee cake made whose ingredients include yeast and golden raisins), butter, eggs (hard boiled & dyed), salt & pepper, and horseradish) or some of her Easter candy.
O members of UPOTWA, forgive me my run-on sentences!
helperone, I can no longer find it on the Web, but one of my favorite cartoons is by Betsy Streeter. Its caption: When everything in life seems, uncertain, take comfort in knowing that gravity works every time..
Oh,
by the way.
Anyone claiming to be a good enough marksman to try for the dime rumoured to be hidden below the surface of Pluto’s moon Sharon?
Mr. worth, the quote on gravity being reliable seems to be from Betsy Streeter according to this page on the Web.
I found it using DDG’s search and the entire phrase as the key.
dr de Wipper, Pluto’s moon is named after a relative of mine? Way cool!
Yes, that was slightly sarky. I know and can C the difference.
To combine my offhand comment about gravity and the good Doctor’s, we could have this .
It’s sort of spooky that we do not stand on solid ground.
Of course, to walk on liquids, all one need do is enhance either effect, electromagnetic repulsion or PEP. That sort of telekinesis may “explain” a few tricks.
helperone:
Walking on water is quite easy.
A. Lower the temperature till below freezing
or
B. Know where the sub-surface poles are.
To walk on any fluid: just be slightly quicker with each pace than the time needed for the fluid to give in to the weight. A nice relation between viscosity, contact surface, surface tension, and weight (and gravity if also considering not being on earth at approx. sealevel)
Walking on a more viscous fluid such as custard is far easier, and should one start to sink one simply eats one’s way out of danger.
polar bears and penguins
walk on water all the time
it also depends on depth – if the water is only I mm deep it is easy for anyone
Strictly speaking, solidifying the fluid is not “walking on a liquid” but it is true that some beasties, insects and lizards among them can run over water. Insects, lizards and BarryAllans.
And running over thick custard is probably possible for light, thin, fast humans with large feet, maybe anorexic clowns? I wonder if anyone has ever … of course someone has.
” Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.
AMBROSE BIERCE (1842-1914)
So, why don’t polar bears eat the penguins?
Because they can’t get the wrappers off.
๐
That almost gets the thread drift back On Topic.
I get up every morning and lay a couple of chocolate eggs! I’ve never done one that looks like Jesus but I have done one that was the spitting image of Muhammad and maybe a few that had similarities to the Dalai Lama or lord Buddha! One lives in Hope!
I keep a plastic bag ready so that I can flog it for squillions on ebay.