cold

March 17th, 2021

It’s unbelievfuckingable!

└ Tags: , ,

Discussion (50)¬

  2. If you start with untrue statements, or proceed with incorrect reasoning, then you can seem to “prove” anything, no matter how silly.

    For example, if 42=31 then I am the Pope.

    Because 42=31 implies 11=0 (subtracting 31 from both sides). Therefore, dividing by 11, 1=0. Adding 1, 2=1. Since 2 and 1 are equal, 2 people are 1 person, so the Pope and I are 1 person. I am the Pope. Quod Erat Destroyedan’dumb.

    Kiss my damn ring, suckers.

    Trust rational discourse, but be very careful about assumptions and rules of deduction.

  3. I have to admit this one may have got past me. I mean, respect for rationality makes sense, but the ideal of a deity that cares about us isn’t per se counter-rational, it’s just a sort of groundless optimism.

  4. Hm. Since 31 is a prime number and 42 is not. I see an immediate provable fact that falsifies the first part of your hypothesis…..

  5. M27Holts – as though you needed that. 🙂
    That’s my point. Either you shouldn’t start reasoning from falsehoods, or I’m the Pope.

    I could get comfortable in the role. Getting bathed by 16-year-old girls, rounds the clock Asian chefs, the massage hour… If only 42 equaled 31. 🙂

  7. Thank you God for birth defects
    For hurricanes and broken necks
    For suffering from dread disease.
    But spare ME from those “blessings” please!

    – Doug Long

  9. Author, the very first comment here is mine and somehow submitted without my name and email entered in the form. Is it intentionally made possible to comment anonymous, or is it a glitch in the software?

  10. Laripu – Isn’t that from a story of Asimovs black widowers? dec(imal) 25 = oct(al) 31

  12. on st. patty’s day I wish to bring
    to the cock and bull a kind of a thing:
    you’re a unified bunch,
    but your numbers don’t crunch;
    you guys are divided by nothing.

  16. @Donn Anything without evidence of existence goes against rationality.
    Optimists or not, they have to show something to support their claims.

    The creator God missed to create the proof of his own existance

  17. when limericks are inane and pathetic
    it ruins the local aesthetic
    they’re ruesome and grey
    they won’t go away
    in short they’re unapologetic

    but in seeking to create a meme
    or a desperate meaningless theme
    they suck and they blow
    and as all of you know
    will give you a cramp and bad dreams

    so I’ll stop with this durable drivel
    and retreat to a corner to snivel
    I’ve labored for naught
    my verses are fraught
    and bring thoughts that are dark and uncivil

    And if there’s a god up in heaven
    please come to my place around seven
    my poems are so flat
    it’s much worse than that
    they require a miraculous leaven

  18. The afterlife and
    a creator bring comfort;
    reality chills.
    – Haiku no better than a limerick.

  20. Sophia Eressia – If we have unknowable alternatives, is it irrational for J&M to pick the one they like the best? I guess so, but it’s irrational in the sense of “not rational”, which after all is where we all live most of the time. (Falling in love, riding motorcycles, stuff like that is explainable at an objective level, but subjectively not rational at all.)

    Arguments that try to prove it, like “there must be a creator: because the universe exists and therefore must have been created, and it couldn’t have been created without a creator” – those are irrational in the sense of rational error. I used the term “counter-rational” by which I suppose I meant, to assert something that we can rationally disprove or strongly doubt. If J&M have given up these follies and now limit themselves to just the common irrationality of optimism, I’d say the barmaid has done wonders with them.

  21. For example, if 42=31 then I am the Pope.

    42 is even and 31 is odd. That is enough to falisfy that statement and since a false statement imprlies any statement the sentence is true.

  22. According to my copy of Fouler’s English Usage, unbeleivfuckingable is an important new use of the word “fucking” and deserves to be on a T-shirt.

  24. M27Holts, You’re a Brit, and I’m American. Today we kinds own the anti Asian thing. That you should choose a limerick to assess the social damage here is appropriate and fitting, especially given you did not pursue that lame limerick. Your unfinished poem says “After the death of the horseman/the homeward-bound horse/says everything without saying anything.”

  26. It lead to the rhyming if china to vagina. With all the stuff going down it is hard to say what is right or wrong. I know that Trump cast a big shadow with his bigotry. And now we are paying the price. Any one can accuse you of some kind of abuse, but if you are being abusive it should stand you well to be so advised. The me too culture is ascendant today. Would that it had been before. But I doggerelize.

  28. M27 –
    So, I’m asking you
    what else did she do
    to damage the garden recliner?

  29. Ok…
    But it all went Wong when attached to the Wing.
    It fell off and smashed up a garden recliner…

  30. Oh dear, M27Holts! That’s pathetic scansion in the last line!

    So many attempts at verse this week (Doug Long, postdoggerel, M27Holts). Come back Nasser Ben Houdja – all is forgiven!

  31. > It’s unbelievfuckingable!

    Normally, it’s “unbefuckinglievable”. Much easier to say.
    Though I guess you were deliberately messing around with the mashup of the two words.

  32. There was a cute woman from China
    Who worked as an engine designer
    But it all turned out wong
    when attached to the wing
    of Jesus and Mo’s Morris Minor.

    Naa! All sounds a bit Chinese to me.

  33. Ineradicable inarticulations, retractable redactions, and irreductible apothegms vied for supremacy in his colloquy.

    Dulling my lines, doing me disgrace,
    Is it not sinful, striving to mend
    That which before was well,
    For to no other pass my verses tend. – Nassar Ben Houdja

    /s

  36. Author – I have just about had enough. I must be the only one who has to type in my user name, email address etc; every time I post. !!!!!
    Further, I have to go from the cartoon to “last” then to “next” before I can get the “comments” up. I’m not one to complain as you know, but .. .. .. .. ..

  38. Mockingbird: I think everyone has to enter username and email address every time. I think this is a cunning policy to discourage commenters from making too many silly comments.

    Like this one!

  39. SoG – Then it’s only recent. The system knows who we are as soon as we start a post. Used to show automatically.

    It all started with the bint from China !!!!

    It’s just NOT good enough .. .. .. .. .. 🙂

  40. I have to do a double entry as well. I sometimes use my real name by mistake…usually after 10 pints… 🙂

  41. I see the muslim council of indonesia have declared the AZ vaccine Haram….apparently it’s got pig DNA in it….surely a good topic for a limerick or two?

  42. M27Holts: “… usually after 10 pints …”

    I’m amazed you can even remember your name after ten pints! Manc beer must be highly diluted stuff.

    I have just tried to post the above without entering my email address, and was told my post was blocked because I am blacklisted. I have now added my details to the box. If you can read this you know my blacklisting has been lifted.

  43. 1,
    2,
    3,
    4,
    A poet named Motorway Holts
    does limericks just for adults
    but the maiden from China
    arrives on a liner,
    then kicks in his nuts and bolts.

  45. I once wore a beautiful dress.
    And asked everyone to call me Princess.
    But the feminist’s jibes hurt.
    When they looked up my skirt.
    Now I tell you. THAT IS STRESS!

  46. Mockingbird assumes that our Manc friend’s moniker refers to the M27 motorway (nowhere near Manchester). It could also refer to an object called the Dumbell Galaxy, said to be visible in the night sky with good binoculars. I presume the Holts part refers to that brand of Manc beer which, after ten pints, causes him to mistakenly enter his real name in the comment box. I doubt whether M27Holts will tell us the true origins of the handle, as he will probably prefer to keep us guessing.

  48. Keep you lot guessing? Nah. Holts is the only Traditionally brewed cask ale in Manchester. And M27 is the incoming portion of the post code area I live in. Swinton & Pendlebury.

  49. M27Holts: Fascinating info. Next time I’m in the M27 (Swinton & Pendlebury) postcode area (not very likely, I’m afraid!), I’ll be sure to knock back a pint of Holts! If I’m feeling generous, I may even buy you one.

  50. Clearly not scottish then…SOG…as far as the stereotypical scotsman of my youth tells me….

Comment¬

NOTE: This comments section is provided as a friendly place for readers of J&M to talk, to exchange jokes and ideas, to engage in profound philosophical discussion, and to ridicule the sincerely held beliefs of millions. As such, comments of a racist, sexist or homophobic nature will not be tolerated.

If you are posting for the first time, or you change your username and/or email, your comment will be held in moderation until approval. When your first comment is approved, subsequent comments will be published automatically.