Paris
November 25th, 2015
Thanks to this week’s guest scriptwriter, The Archbishop of Canterbury.
Yesterday was this comic’s 10th birthday, and to celebrate we’re running a little competition (thanks to sparky_shark for the suggestion).
To enter, you just have to write a script for the last panel of a J&M “X-factor” strip:
The script should a line from Jesus, a line from Mo (in any order), plus the off-screen judge if required. Just words, presented like this:
Jesus: Blah
Mo: Blah
Judge: Blah
The best script will win a book of the latest collection of Jesus & Mo strips (Vol 7), plus publication here on the website (anonymously, obvs). There may be runners-up prizes, too.
Send entries entitled “X-factor script” to author[AT]jesusandmo.net
[God] adds some platitude about sharing our suffering [equally, so that all mortal life suffers]
[and of course ‘god’ being imaginary has imaginary suffering]
ps is the final panel saying that the barmaid is ‘god’
Jesus- “We are going to sing a song by John Lennon called Imagine”.
Jessus & Mo- “Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too”
Judge – “Sound of a gun being fired” !!
One must allow for a bit of latitude
When rationalizing using some platitude
Is freedom of will
To be considered swill?
Reality is a matter of attitude.
Jesus and Mo (singing together) ~ “He’s got the whole world…in His hands…”
This is the first time I can recall seeing a capitalized strip title.
Jesus: Please allow me to introduce myself….
Mo: He’s a man of wealth and taste….
Judge: for god’s sake we’ve already had Bono on
Jesus: We’re going to sing a song.
Mo: About our religions of peace.
Judge: NEXT !
The `script’ answer by M & J is good as it is, i.e. blank.
Nice ideas folks, but wouldn’t it be better if you followed instructions and emailed your entries?
Author: “God is ineffable but predictable” is one of your best yet. There certainly is a predictability to the comments by believers following any triumph or tragedy.
A Very happy birthday and Thank You.
I don’t know Darwin, I like reading the scripts in the comments. And I agree with oldebabe : “Nothing” is the right answer !
‘God is ineffable but predictable’
Cant be the ‘god’ of the bible or quran then – cos both of those are extremely capricious and unpredictable
Jesus: We’d like to sing a song by one of my father’s favorite Jewish songwriters.
Mo: We’ll be singing “The sounds of silence” by Simon and Garfunkel.
Judge: I must admit the sound of silence from you two sounds divine.
I kind of like it without anything in the last frame…
“What are you going to do for us tonight Jesus and Mo?”
…
tumbleweed
…
Grumpy wins. Tres simple n’est-ce pas?
A question for Mr Whelby – ‘god’ keeps bottles of human bodily fluids in heaven ?
how? where? why? where are they made?
God was in the middle of it was he? Was he one of those who shot people or one of those that blew themselves up?
The first time I tried to access this one, I was refused because of “illegal argument”.
You know why Kligon subroutines don’t have parameters?
They have arguments and have to win them.
Jesus: Little
Mo: Nothing
Judge: So then, the usual?
Okay, you are right. It’s more fun to read everybody’s ideas. I emailed mine in but here’s a slightly modified version.
Mo: Here’s a song about Islam’s respect for women.
Jesus: Testing. Testing. Can you ladies at the back hear us okay?
DH – π π
DH -that would be moderate islam – under extreme islam there would be no women present as they would be outside the home unescorted by a male relatve
Jesus: …..like……what??
Mo:Do for you? I don’t understand the question??
Whatever else is going on here:
Nassar’s usual contribution is a triumph.
many many thumbs up
Mine (which I also emailed) was :
J : Do ? Nothing ! But we’ll bore you with repetitious mumbles, backward ideology and childish fables about an invisible man who got half the world fight against the other half in his name…
M : And a-one…
A lot of people hear a voice speak in their head occasionally, But most have sufficient intellect to understand that the words come from within their own mind
How then does someone who is too dimwitted to realise this get to be an archbishop
Isn’t “being dimwitted” one of the requirements then ? π
I always imagined that higher office took intellect, but I guess the current GOP candidates prove that wrong
correction =
GOP candidates and the Australian TERF strulbrug prove that wrong
@white-squirrel
“βgodβ keeps bottles of human bodily fluids in heaven ?”
Indeed, it follows that ‘god’ also collects the urine of those who have contracted urinary tract infections, so that “none of our sufferings are lost”.
We knew that ‘god’ took that fluid already
Why does the Archbishop doubt God when the killings are in Paris but not when similar numbers and more are killed all over the world all the time?
Does he doubt God every day? If so, is he in the right job?
@EricF @White Squirrell –
PURITY
OF
ESSENCE!!!!
https://youtu.be/N1KvgtEnABY
‘Archbishop’ is a job ? since when was public display of medieval fantasies ‘work’
‘God’ is a commie conspirator seeking to undermine America?
Explains a lot Jojo
Jesus: I am going to be the founder of the one true religion.
Mo: And so am I.
Jesus: Today we’re going to demonstrate how just and fair we are by proclaiming that everyone who disbelieves in us deserves to burn in a fiery hell.
Mo: For all of eternity.
Judge: Fair enough. Proceed.
Mo: The same thing we do every night.
Jesus: Try to take over the world!
white+squirrel says:
November 30, 2015 at 3:59 pm
βArchbishopβ is a job ? since when was public display of medieval fantasies βworkβ
βββββββββββββ
Actually itβs a *very* hard job. You really have to strain your credulity.
Of course, I explain such cases as Stockholm Syndrome, remember as small children they have no defense and sufficient fire and brimstone descriptions may produce a captive state of mind. Sad, but remember we are all captive to the laws of physics.