As someone who believed before, who was raised with it, and no longer does, I can’t imagine what that’s like to have never ever prayed myself! lol Must be nice! But then when I look back, I realize I was just talking to myself, in hopes (conviction for a good while) that someone else was hearing and could do something about it. Nevertheless, that decades long fantasy left an imprint that will likely never go away completely, though it has grown fainter. Thanks for the therapy session, J&M!
Of course there’s a big man “upstairs”
Looking after our human affairs.
And I know that it’s true
Because, otherwise, who
Is ignoring each one of my prayers?
As Royston Vasey once espoused….”I needed a bike, the priest said pray and you will ride tonight…I thought fuck it, got out my bolt cutters and nicked one instead….and I did ride that night….”
You know, if we did believe in some kind of omnipotent creative intelligence we’d still have to ask what the hell it thinks it’s doing. If you’re so omnipotent how do you explain all this?!
I pray all the time, by which I mean I talk to myself. And now that I realize it is me, the replies are much quicker. By which I mean I actually get replies.
When in extremis. If you panic, you die. True story, I got lost up mount Ainos in Kefalonia in 45c heat. I didn’t panic and conserved my water and followed a dried up stream downhill. I came to a road just as it was going dark. And the local forest ranger found me in his 4×4 as my wife had raised the alarm when I didn’t return to the flat mid afternoon….I was interviewed by the islands police chief and told off for solo walking unprepared…he said they had released hundreds of venomous snakes on the mountain…I didn’t see any….
I have come down from Mount Ainos with my tablets. Have fun with it.
After Osama Bin Laden dies, he finds himself in heaven.
“Welcome,” says St. Peter, throwing open the pearly gates, “we’ve been expecting you.”
As soon as Osama walks in, he sees George Washington. Without warning, Washington delivers a devastating uppercut to Bin Laden’s jaw.
Stunned, Osama turns around to see Thomas Jefferson behind him. Jefferson raises a wooden cane and cracks it hard over Osama’s head.
Then Patrick Henry approaches, and without hesitation, kicks him in the groin.
One by one, scores of American Founding Fathers gather around Bin Laden and proceed beat the crap out of him.
In agony, he cries out, “God, why? This was not what you promised me!”
And he hears God’s voice reply: “Didn’t you listen, Osama? I told you there’d be 72 Virginians waiting for you in paradise.”
Demon Haunted world by Carl Sagan…great book. Should be compulsory reading for all children aged 12-16 depending on their intellectual maturity. Also clearly Dawkins “The God Delusion” to reinforce the message…
Mockingbird…such statements reinforce the deluded? Since the reality is very much in the likelyhood that the deluded suicide knobhead or DSK for short simply ceases “to-be” unfortunately joined in oblivion by their innocent victims…
M27 ~ Yeah, but that spoils the joke. 🙂 And anyway, it’s good to imagine the DSK having to shag 72 sheep every day, (even the ugly ones) while all the victims shout encouragement.
Jesus & Mo (the characters) are absurd, blinkered, and oddly very sweet. J&M (the cartoon) is brilliant: sharp, delicious, irresistible. Salman Rushdie
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In a world defined by outrage and offence and liberal spinelessness, Jesus and Mo is a treasure, whose value we should never fail to recognize. Read them. Laugh. And think. Kenan Malik
The brilliant, celebrated, freaking hilarious atheist comic strip ... Greta Christina
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J & Mo is the funniest and most consistently thought-provoking cartoon strip on the Net. In a saner world, it would run in a major newspaper. Nelson Jones, Heresy Corner
Consistently amusing, frequently thought-provoking and often heart-warming. New Humanist
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Wittily captures much of the absurdity of religious apologetics. Mano Singham
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Often hilarious, frequently wry, these cartoons do what all the best cartoons do: they tell the truth through humour. Terry Sanderson, NSS President
...a wonderfully acid British cartoonist... Nick Cohen
I love the scrappy mockery of Jesus and Mo. Freedom of speech
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April 25, 2006
As someone who believed before, who was raised with it, and no longer does, I can’t imagine what that’s like to have never ever prayed myself! lol Must be nice! But then when I look back, I realize I was just talking to myself, in hopes (conviction for a good while) that someone else was hearing and could do something about it. Nevertheless, that decades long fantasy left an imprint that will likely never go away completely, though it has grown fainter. Thanks for the therapy session, J&M!
When I believed, all my prayers were answered.
Since I stopped believing, I’ve found I still get great parking spaces.
Of course there’s a big man “upstairs”
Looking after our human affairs.
And I know that it’s true
Because, otherwise, who
Is ignoring each one of my prayers?
The believers should be thankful that ‘god’ is not real
As Royston Vasey once espoused….”I needed a bike, the priest said pray and you will ride tonight…I thought fuck it, got out my bolt cutters and nicked one instead….and I did ride that night….”
The closest I have come to prayer is saying to an empty room:
Hey God, if you want me to believe in you, you could show up any time.
You know, if we did believe in some kind of omnipotent creative intelligence we’d still have to ask what the hell it thinks it’s doing. If you’re so omnipotent how do you explain all this?!
We wouldn’t be able to understand its answer, though.
I pray all the time, by which I mean I talk to myself. And now that I realize it is me, the replies are much quicker. By which I mean I actually get replies.
when school is about to begin,
having a prayer is no sin
if you don’t pray out loud
to the pharisaic crowd,
but pray to the god within.
When in extremis. If you panic, you die. True story, I got lost up mount Ainos in Kefalonia in 45c heat. I didn’t panic and conserved my water and followed a dried up stream downhill. I came to a road just as it was going dark. And the local forest ranger found me in his 4×4 as my wife had raised the alarm when I didn’t return to the flat mid afternoon….I was interviewed by the islands police chief and told off for solo walking unprepared…he said they had released hundreds of venomous snakes on the mountain…I didn’t see any….
And before any bright spark mentions it. Getting lost up Mount Ainos is not a Euphemism….
I would love to see the reaction of Muslim suicide bombers who go to heaven and meet their 72 virgin sheep.
Mockingbird: I for one am happy to simply imagine it. I can only wish those you mention would contend themselves to that, too.
Come to think of it, I’d just as soon abstain altogether.
I have come down from Mount Ainos with my tablets. Have fun with it.
After Osama Bin Laden dies, he finds himself in heaven.
“Welcome,” says St. Peter, throwing open the pearly gates, “we’ve been expecting you.”
As soon as Osama walks in, he sees George Washington. Without warning, Washington delivers a devastating uppercut to Bin Laden’s jaw.
Stunned, Osama turns around to see Thomas Jefferson behind him. Jefferson raises a wooden cane and cracks it hard over Osama’s head.
Then Patrick Henry approaches, and without hesitation, kicks him in the groin.
One by one, scores of American Founding Fathers gather around Bin Laden and proceed beat the crap out of him.
In agony, he cries out, “God, why? This was not what you promised me!”
And he hears God’s voice reply: “Didn’t you listen, Osama? I told you there’d be 72 Virginians waiting for you in paradise.”
Demon Haunted world by Carl Sagan…great book. Should be compulsory reading for all children aged 12-16 depending on their intellectual maturity. Also clearly Dawkins “The God Delusion” to reinforce the message…
Mockingbird…such statements reinforce the deluded? Since the reality is very much in the likelyhood that the deluded suicide knobhead or DSK for short simply ceases “to-be” unfortunately joined in oblivion by their innocent victims…
M27 ~ Yeah, but that spoils the joke. 🙂 And anyway, it’s good to imagine the DSK having to shag 72 sheep every day, (even the ugly ones) while all the victims shout encouragement.
It worries me that you can differentiate betwixt ugly and presumably attractive sheep? You must have a lot of Yorkshire genes….haha
Baaah ! 🙂 https://www.librarything.com/topic/339395#7850683
Good joke that one….centurion…