ugh2
June 5th, 2013
Laying out the basics of the case against gay marriage. A resurrection from 2008, in honour of the House of Lords.
Latest book…
Random oldie…
December 5, 2008-
- NICE T-SHIRT (Thank you for not provoking my uncontrollable lust). Currently unavailable.
So sad it’s taking so long……
But such a good strip. I love Wednesdays.
Right on! If they had stuck to sex with children (of the opposite sex, of course – it has to be ‘natural’), following in the footsteps of the prophet and the clergy, there wouldn’t be anyone to hate.
oh but female on female would be fine as would in Mo’s case adult male on female child…. or in jesus’s case angles knockin boots with mortals creating giants…. know whats “unnatural” grown adults believing in fairy stories….
The bible is against man on man sex, but it nowhere says anything about woman on woman sex. When the bible authors invented the fairy tale Jewish empire ruled by David and then Solomon they penned in that their fictional superstar rulers had hundreds of wives. I’m guessing that the bible authors thought often and fondly about woman on woman sex.
Love it! These guys must be Republican elected officials in the ol’ USA. 😀
Brilliant. Of course that’s the problem. The anti-gay crowd can’t help thinking about it. And it’s….fascinating…uh…. disgusting. I mean, what must that feel like…sex with a man…ooohhhh. No, that’s disgusting…..
As Peter Tatchell said when the vote went the way it did – praise the lords!
Politics certainly becomes a whole lot less complicated when you ignore what your opponents have to say about their motivations, and simply put your own words in their mouths!
The issue with being gay
Is they have to forever say
Things like they are queer
And they are here
Who cares, get a room, go away.
I feel bad for all of the bigots who think that ‘what gays do’ is icky or gross… ‘cos they obviously ain’t getting any blowjobs or anal action from their hetero partners. 😉 Now THAT’S a real shame.
Ouch, Nassar. Did you really need to end your limerick that hateful way?
Spot on! I’ve always called homophobes perverts: it is quite clear that all they think about is the sex.
If someone tells me gay sex is icky, I say, if you’re doing it right, it can be. Fortunately, I like icky things. Way to go, Jesus and Mo!
(and Barmaid)
*knocks on the table* hear, hear Pappy ^_^
I read somewhere recently (can’t remember where, so excuse the lack of reference) that the biblical injunction that thou shalt not lie with a man as with a woman was actually a misinterpretation.
It really means that if a woman friend asks ‘Does my bum look big in this?’ you are allowed to lie, but if a male friend asks the same question you call him a fat bastard and mock him forever.
That’s a brilliant interpretation, Don. It reminded me of a momentary and uncharacteristic lack of tact that once got me into trouble. A friend of Mrs o’Sagan was showing off a new dress and asked the dreaded question “Does it make my bum look big?” I don’t know to this day why I said it, but my instant response was “Don’t blame the dress, it’s the cakes and chocolate that did that.”
Hi all. Although my left arm and hand are still encased in plaster (radius, ulna, and eight assorted metacapals and phalanges broken), the pot is off my right hand now, the two metacarpels having healed quite nicely. It’ll be in supportive strapping for a little longer, and it gets sore quickly, but I don’t care; I’ve got my hand back! I’ve broken lots of bones before – some of them my own 🙂 – but I’ve never been so totally unable to do anything for myself, so I couldn’t be happier right now.
I’ll fill in the details of what happened tomorrow. I’m off to make myself a mug of cocoa for the first time in weeks. It’s going to be delicious.
Welcome back. AoS. Just don’t over stress that right hand with repetitive strain ;-).
Nice one, Don.
Thanks, HFB, it’s good to be back.
My cocoa last night was delicious, but even better was this mornings shave, my first since the accident (it’s the one thing that Mrs o’S’s arthritic hands couldn’t do for me 😉 ); I’m not saying I’m going grey but grandson no.1 was convinced I was turning into a polar bear.
And so to the details of my mishap. My apologies for the boring bit to start, but it helps to set the scene…..
We live on the side of a glacial valley on a small rise in a semi-circular depression similar in shape to an ampitheatre, and are surrounded on three sides by the remnants of an ancient oak wood which has maintained a footing on the roughly terraced slopes. The sides themselves are in places very steep to vertical, the topsoil is very thin to non-existant and, especially on the steeper slopes, the sandstone bedrock protudes through in many places.
Because there is an entrance to the woods just 50 yards from my house, the dog and I have walked in them virtually every single day for the last seven years, and I know them so well that I can get around them on all but the darkest of nights without needing a torch – so long as I’m careful and pay attention to where I am!
My favourite time to be there is around dusk; there is always something to see, and on this particular evening it was a handful of Pipistrelle bats feeding on the flying insects just below the canopy of the trees. I was quite high on the slope, following a narrow track, and had stopped walking to watch the bats. All I was doing was turning back and forth to see them flitting around overhead, and just for once I completely neglected to pay attention to where my feet were. I only realised that I had shuffled too close to the edge of the track when I took a step to the left to get a better view of the bats swooping through a gap in the trees and stepped into thin air.
I would have been OK had I have been able to grab some of the foliage where I’d been stood, but like an idiot I had my left hand wedged into my jacket pocket. I dropped about 10 foot straight down onto a rocky outcrop, hitting it hard on my left side with my arm trapped beneath me because I hadn’t been able to get my hand out of my pocket; I couldn’t even straighten my fingers as it’s a small pocket, so it was my own bodyweight that caused the damage there, breaking the ulna and radius with my hip, and eight of the bones in the hand and fingers with my thigh on impact (the bruising on my leg and hip was quite impressive too).
Having hit the rock, I bounced off, somersaulted once – banging my right hand against another lump of rock and breaking the two outer metacarpals somewhere in the process – and slid face-down and head-first down the rather steep slope for around another 50 foot or so before coming to rest as the ground levelled out.
I couldn’t get up because all the jolting and bumping around had sent my back into spasm and I’d lost my walking stick somewhere on my descent, and so for the first time ever I was glad that Mrs o’S. insists on me taking my phone with me when I go out in the evening. She bought me a pay-as-you-go phone in March just for that very purpose, and just to show how little I actually use it (as a phone, that is; the camera’s not bad in daylight), it still has £5.80 of the original £10 credit on it, and most of what I’ve used was in guiding Mrs o’S and the ambulance crew to me.
To finish for now, I’d like to thank you all once again for your concerns and kind words; it made a lovely change from the piss-taking I’ve had from family and non-Cock and Bull frequenting friends.
AoS:
An instance of tarot card 0? Get well soon mate.
AOS seems to be a definite daft injury above and beyond the call of duty GWS
Thanks to you both, but I’m not sure I get the tarot reference, hotrats. I hope I haven’t missed something really obvious there, because that might mean I’ve also broken my funny bone.
AoS – your funny bone will recover as well, give it time 🙂
This is copied from Free-Tarot-Card-Readings.net:-
(too funny not to post for all to see)
Tarot Card Meanings – The Major Arcana, Cards 0 through 10
0 – The Fool
The Fool is a child sampling life. Naive. Spontaneous. Endearing. Exploring where his whims take him. Anything is possible. But his little dog may be warning him not to step too close to the edge of the cliff. The Fool may be studying the stars when he should be looking where his next step will land. He may be a likely victim of trickery and deception. An easy target for bullying or usery. Traditionally, also a suggestion of careless and excessive sexuality. This card more than any other represents the subject, experiencing the influences of the diverse cast of characters in the Tarot deck.
Spot on hotrats, love the reference to the dog 🙂
hotrats & botanist – brilliant. I had to look it up since it seemed too close to the actuality of AoS’s accident. To get a clear view of what AoS looks like, try this link: http://www.free-tarot-card-readings.net/tarot/images/large/maj00l.jpg.
I think you should adopt this as your avatar, AoS.
botanist:
thanks for the impeccable return stroke, you are the -daa to my Ta-.
And Amen to HFB for his avatar suggestion, about time too!
Acolyte, thank you for that thrilling account of your accident. As usual I shall make this about me. some time ago I was vacuuming a high shelf above my wardrobe, standing on my desk to do so, and totally forgot where I was. I stepped off into thin air and crashed to the concrete floor, landing on my cervix. Miraculously I survived without being wheelchair bound for the rest of my life, so my bone density must be okay.
I tell you this to let you know that you will get no piss taking from me. That was a very impressive spill you took, and I can only lament that you didn’t get it on video. But then the piss taking would have gone viral, and you don’t need that.
I’m glad you’re on the mend. Cheers.
Hi Darwin Harmless, I think you meant coccyx as a cervix is a totaly different thing to land on 🙂
Oh shit, you are so correct. I don’t even have a cervix. 🙁
That is embarrassing. Please put it down to haste, pressure to get the comment in before obligations pulled me away, and… a brain fart. 🙂
I thought you might have evolved a cervix.
Cap well and truly doffed to hotrats and botanist.
Luckily, it seems my funny bone’s intact; I just know next to sod-all about tarot (it’s basically poker for the gullible, some of the older, hand-painted sets can be worth a bob-or-two, and…er….that’s it).
Some of the Fool’s attributes are quite fitting, but if there’s anybody less naive, less likely to fall for trickery and deception, or be the victim of bullying or usury than I, then I’ve yet to meet them. Plus, the dog may indeed be a wee scrap of a thing, but was nowhere around when I went over, he was off following scents in the undergrowth. He did come down to find me, gave me a quizzical look, cocked his leg on a nearby tree stump, and buggered off back to whatever interesting stink he’d picked up before I’d so rudely interupted his business. He’s no Lassie!
Oh, and I’m still laughing about the ‘careless and excessive sexuality’ bit.
DH, thank you, I feel so much better now about my fairly recent accrediting the sculpting of ‘David’ to da Vinci rather than to Michaelangelo 🙂
DH, as long as my gynocologist never confuses my cervix with my coccyx we’ll all be fine.
AoS, that sounds like a pretty impressive tumble – at least you got a good look at the bats (and probably up close with some undergrowth).
Returning to this week’s comic . . . I personally try to avoid thinking about other people having sex at all. I find that it’s usually pretty icky to picture any of the people I know ‘bumping uglies’! Reminds me of that wonderful description of the conservative Christian attitude towards sex: Sex is dirty and filthy and you should save it for someone you love.
DH might well have landed on his cervix, but not the one you miscreants were thinking of – but I’m glad he didn’t.
The cervix, in general parlance, is the lower, narrow portion of the womb where it joins the top end of the vagina (hence the expression, “Madame, I am Don Juan, at your cervix”), and as HL Mencken might say, parlance doesn’t get much more general than that.
But this cervix is actually from the Latin cervix uteri, meaning ‘neck of the womb’ – cervix on its own means ‘neck’, as seen in the cervical vertebrae, the ones in your neck that DH could have landed on. They are numbered C1 to C7.
The C1 or Atlas is the topmost vertebra and the most important, because it is the one that lets you shake your head in disbelief – without it you can only nod. Its chief peculiarity is that it has no body, only its exterior lobes, and this is because the body of the atlas has fused with that of the next vertebra C2, the Axis, in the course of evolution.
This fusion, and others, helped us to hold our heads up vertically in comfort, at the (some would say disproportionate) cost of no longer being able to ‘wash’ our own genitalia, like cats and dogs. As Bill Hicks used to say, “If guys just had that one extra vertebra… all of you girls on dates would be sitting here, alone… looking at an empty stage.”
AoS,
Glad to hear that your recovery is doing well, and thanks for the explanation. I had a bet (5 USD) riding on the cause being switching hands without losing a stroke, a known dangerous act when performed in a slippery shower with no, eh, bar to grab onto.
damn this keyboard:
‘The cervix, in common parlance… …and as Mencken might have said, parlance doesn’t get much more common than that’.
@hotrats
Wow, that’s some typo. Every letter wrong and an extra one added to boot 😉
mary2: seriously, you *avoid* thinking about people doing it? I mean, yeah, it’s silly and undignified, but it’s still people being passionate, and that is never ugly. (Actual sex – not the cheap imitation of it presented in most porns.) Whenever I really dislike someone I imagine him or her in the throes of passion, and I immediately have to giggle and feel a lot warmer about them. I think I shall pray for you… ^_^
JohnM:
Yes, as usual, it was the wet end of the keyboard input system at fault. I had used both words, and in my haste, ‘corrected’ the wrong one. Post in haste, regret at leisure.
AoS: so…. Was the fall God’s punishment for your atheistic sinfulness or your survival proof of his love…? Go on – hit some Christian forums and find out!
Personally, I’m just pleased you’re still posting, old chap.
Freefox, I absolutely stand by my previous comment. I have no problem with passion, love or physical release (have even been known to partake occasionally myself). I think most people look better/sexier wearing some form of clothing (however slight) than they do completely naked because most of us have bodies which are more perfect in the imagination than they are in full reality. Similarly I think that sex, however pleasant to engage in, can be less romantic as a voyeur in the full light of day: the funny faces, noises, less-than-perfect bodies can be an enhancement when they belong to the love-of-your-life or when you are also in the midst of passion but not so cute when they belong to the ugly bloke who works in the next office.
Thanks, JoJo, but I’ll bet you’re not as pleased as I am. I really wouldn’t have wanted my last thought on earth to be ‘I’ve already passed my genes on, so this won’t even qualify me for a Darwin award’.
“…there wouldn’t be anyone to hate.”
Well, there’s always the Jews…
“…and everybody hates the Jews.” –Tom Lehrer